I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize