I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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