He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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