What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize