dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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