its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
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sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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