i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize