I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize