Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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