i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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