Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize