I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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