I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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