Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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