I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
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She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
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We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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