dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize