He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
COCAINE IS GR8
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize