you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize