Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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