I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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