she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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