Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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