i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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