I just cut my nipple shaving
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
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Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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