No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize