"it" just moved
I faked an abortion last night.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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