All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize