oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize