I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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