Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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