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Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
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