dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize