For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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