She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So vagazzling was a success
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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