someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize