i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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