found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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