I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize