we're blogging at a bar
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
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And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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