we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Panties = found
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