Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize