Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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