i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
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You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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