I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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