o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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