Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize