So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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