I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
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