You don't have asthma, your pregnant
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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