No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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